First Birthday

How far back do you remember your birthday parties?  I remember helping clean the house and dancing to music with my mom, taking cereal breaks, laying of the floor, last minute grocery shopping, then party time with my family and friends.  My favorite things to watch are home movies of our birthday parties.  It’s fun watching yourself as a small human and doing cute/camera shy things.  If there’s one thing I do when I have kids is defiantly making home videos.  It makes my heart feel light when I get to look back and watch mine.  I hold onto these memories dearly.

Jade turned 1 this month.  She is so big and very sensitive but let me feed her some noodles and gave me a few smiles.  My dad had the family over for a cook out to celebrate her birthday.  It makes me sad that I haven’t been a part of my niece and nephews life.  Our family is very far from conventional and doing things “in the proper order”.  I wouldn’t change any one for the world but wish the distance wasn’t in between us so much.

Jade is moving four hours away in a few weeks and my heart hurts.

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