On Saturday I went swimming with mom and mikey and had under water tea parties, wore our goggles, played catch, and watched him do a new swim move that he did after watching me!  It was really sweet, my mom was saying that was the first time he’d ever done it (just the basic overhand stroke? not sure what it’s called).  He was so amped that he just went right ahead and copied it.  We laughed a lot and talked a lot and ate chips and salsa by the pool.  Mom and I got to spend some meaningful time together-she still beats me at racing laps up and down.  She’s incredible, always.  

I’m learning to be better.

First Birthday

How far back do you remember your birthday parties?  I remember helping clean the house and dancing to music with my mom, taking cereal breaks, laying of the floor, last minute grocery shopping, then party time with my family and friends.  My favorite things to watch are home movies of our birthday parties.  It’s fun watching yourself as a small human and doing cute/camera shy things.  If there’s one thing I do when I have kids is defiantly making home videos.  It makes my heart feel light when I get to look back and watch mine.  I hold onto these memories dearly.

Jade turned 1 this month.  She is so big and very sensitive but let me feed her some noodles and gave me a few smiles.  My dad had the family over for a cook out to celebrate her birthday.  It makes me sad that I haven’t been a part of my niece and nephews life.  Our family is very far from conventional and doing things “in the proper order”.  I wouldn’t change any one for the world but wish the distance wasn’t in between us so much.

Jade is moving four hours away in a few weeks and my heart hurts.

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Sometimes I think about where I’ll end up, city or country.  There’s so many things I like about country living- fields, green, space, peacefulness, barns, farming, sunrise and sunsets.  I know I would be good at it and happy.  I wonder where I’ll end up.